아쉬움

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Words is not something that flows easily for me. Tonight is one of those nights where I really wish I knew how to express my feelings through words.

A “what if.” What would you do? Balance the pros/cons and decide to accept all consequences to solve all the questions you held inside?

You had me at your eyes, you do not need to say one word and I am already lost. Lost in the clearest blue eyes I had ever seen. I felt like if I continue to stare any longer, somehow you would see right through me and know my deepest secrets. If I continue to stare back, I would not be able to get out of the spell you had me under. I do not mind getting lost from the tip of your smile to the little creases at the corner of your eyes. Somehow, I get the urge to run my fingers along those lines, know your story and know you.

It was all a “what if.”

Until today, Pandora’s box was open. I weighed out the pros/cons and decided to be brave (or stupid, whatever works right?) Have you ever made a decision knowing that the outcome is not in your favor? I knew the answer was not in my favor, but at least I finally got my answer instead of closing it away deeply into the smallest corner of my heart. I opened it and allow myself to be courageous and accept it for what it is supposed to be.

“(Aswium) is a Korean word that refers to a mingling of dissatisfaction, wistfulness, disappointment, regret, higher hopes, frustration and sadness.”

Life works in so many ways. It’s a new day and a fresh start. Just hope for the best.

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